| The title of this article is conjectural.
Although the article itself is based off of canon information from the Pearls Before Swine continuity, the actual title is pure conjecture.
The Kumquat Missile Crisis was a conflict between Rat and Neighbor Floyd (as well as several other people), that centered around Floyd's kumquat tree dropping kumquats on Rat's lawn. Rat had a Soviet missile equipped with a nuclear warhead that he was using to intimidate neighbors. In response, Floyd got his own missile. It concluded with the mutual agreement from both sides that the world shouldn't be destroyed over kumquats. Following this, Floyd's wife decided to use to the bombs to hold a clothesline.